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Day 27: When You’re Never Good Enough

“Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing” (Jn. 15:5).

Artwork by Christine Hwang

“Naturally smart. Naturally thin. Naturally talented.” Ever hear these phrases flying around? I sure have, and I sure didn’t like hearing them. Probably because they were always used to describe other people, not people like me.

When I started high school, I was worried I wasn’t smart enough to get a high score on my SATs. Near the end of high school, I was worried I wasn’t standout enough to get into a brand-named university. My senior year of college rolled in and I was worried my resume was not high quality enough to get me accepted into graduate school. Then, as I walked up to receive my master’s degree, I worried that I wouldn’t be good enough to land a good job.

Now, you might know of another who struggled with the same kind of issue. When it was time for Moses to confront Pharaoh to free the people of Israel from the oppressive Egyptian regime, he told God, “I am not eloquent, either in the past or since you have spoken to your servant…please send someone else” (Ex. 4:10-13). Now, do not be fooled. Moses was not acting humble, he was actually worried that he was not good enough! Moses realized that by believing this, he simultaneously believed the enemy’s lie (that it was up to him to make it happen) and distrustingly underestimating God.

I struggle with what I call the Moses Syndrome. It was the Holy Spirit that revealed the true issue of my heart through this specific passage. The problem was never about the fear of not stacking up. The root of the problem was about me not abiding in Him and instead thinking that I could actually do something or be something all on my own. Jesus reminded us, “Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing” (Jn. 15:5). By remaining in God and placing my identity and future in His hands, I am able to live abundantly and free of fear for my future.

Reflection Questions

  1. Do you think you may have the Moses Syndrome? If so, what area of your life has especially been affected?
  2. Are you abiding in Him and living fear-free? Why or why not?

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