On Fake Flirting and Poke Wars

03, July, 2012Posted by :Claire Hellar

Written by Claire Hellar, Photo by Phoebe Ng


stories-26Okay so today let’s talk about one of those tiny things in life. Specifically, the Facebook poke.


Facebook is one of those funny things in life that at certain points matters a lot and at certain points doesn’t matter at all. For me, it mattered a little bit in high school, a lot in college, and now that I’ve graduated college, I’m starting to care about it less and less (most people I know seem to have followed this pattern as well). Either way, though, you probably have one, and if you do, you know about The Poke.


So here’s the thing about Facebook poking. Over 50% of the people who have poked me in my life have been guys who were interested in me, and over 50% of the people I’ve poked have been guys I was interested in (sad story: these two were never the same people, which is why I didn’t date in high school). Most of the time, the Facebook poke is a tool for flirting, and what I call “fake flirting”.


“Fake flirting” is when you either don’t know the person well enough to talk to them/flirt with them in real life, or you’re too scared to actually talk to them – so you poke them instead. Or maybe it’s someone you do know and do talk to and you’re crushing like crazy and trying to get their attention. Trust me, I’ve been there – I once started a “poke war” (if you don’t know, basically you poke back and forth until one of you gives up and doesn’t poke back) with a guy in high school because I was desperate for his attention. It was stupid. I’ve also seen girls use it to flirt with guys they’re not actually interested in.


My point is – no good comes out of the Facebook poke. 1 Peter 1:13 says, “Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed.”


Even small actions can have a ripple effect, and the sooner we start realizing our lives are about More than just what we want, the faster God starts to take over and change our lives for the better. Don’t start Facebook pokes with guys (or girls, if you’re a guy). In fact, try to avoid Facebook completely when it comes to interacting with someone you’re crushing on. Facebook isn’t a good place to make real things happen, and it can set you to fantasizing about what’s not real (I remember checking Facebook obsessively to see if the boy I liked had poked back). It was really distracting, and a waste of time.


God is so gracious…he will fill up our whole life if we let him. So be careful about getting sidetracked by pointless things like Facebook and flirting on Facebook. I can absolutely promise you that God has something so much better for you…probably a real someone that is just right for you 🙂



Love what you just read? Why not head over to Claire’s Corner to find out what Claire thinks about Worry and Stress or for a creative idea on turning Mirrors into Bibles?

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Claire Hellar

Claire Hellar recently graduated from UCLA with a degree in English. She has been part of Freedom and Fashion for three years as the Magazine Editor-in-Chief. She grew up in Papua New Guinea as the daughter of missionary parents and loves Nutella, Korean dramas, and the color red.