Written by Felicia Fan
I Stand in Awe of You
God orchestrates all things for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28)
Father God, You are so awesome and glorious. How can You love a stubborn defiant sinner like me and regard highly of me like a loving father looking tenderly at his precious daughter? Yes, I know Your wisdom and timing is unfathomable, beyond human words, and Your plan for me is the best, but it is just so hard for me to trust and completely surrender to Your plan. I pray that I truly live out my daily life with the proper reference and honor due to You. Help me Lord to be steadfast…
I suppose college seniors are a bit anxious at the start of spring semester. I remember spending countless hours polishing my resumes, practicing interviewing skills, and researching alumni networks in order to find a job after graduation.
However, God had His way of giving me something better than what I wanted for myself. During my senior year of college, I was so happy when a multinational company accepted me to its management internship program. They even invited me to go to New York for training and orientation. I was ecstatic! But my excitement turned sour a month later when I was notified that, due to the poor economy in 2001, the company had instituted a hiring freeze. All offers were being put on hold. You can just imagine how disappointed I was.
I had no choice but to resume my job search. Thankfully, I found a job soon after graduation. The position was not what I had in mind back in college. While most of my classmates found the glamorous Big Five investment banking jobs, my role was just a buyer.
This was a rather routine job, so I had a lot of spare time. I was able to attend various Bible study classes. Also, since my office was close to church, and I was single at the time, I naturally hung out a lot at church after work to help out and to serve. Through co-teaching a Bible study class at church, I met my husband! Another added benefit of my job was that I was able to visit countries I had never been to before. God certainly orchestrated everything for my good out of His love and goodness.
God’s plan for me is the best; He knows my personality much better than I do. As I look back, I realize that I would not have been able to survive the cutthroat environment, long hours, and stress of the finance industry, nor would I have been able to be involved at church to the same extent. Spiritually, I would have grown at a different pace. I now see that what would have made me happy at the time would have come at the expense of my relationship with the Lord. As I look back, I see that God is so good!
Lord, I stand in awe of You!